Good Parents Make Their Kids "Face The Fear"!

Peyton Pinkerton, 37, has been known to run out of malls, fairgrounds, and other places "on repeated occasions," to flee the object of his personal phobia: clowns (Coulrophobia). Why, you ask?

"I was yelled at by a birthday party clown when I was about 4 years old and have been absolutely terrified of them ever since. If I'm surprised by seeing a clown, it's like snakes or rats. My fight-or-flight response kicks in," Pinkerton says. (Source: CNN article below.)

As a child I had a bad fear of unleashed dogs. If I saw them, my flight response kicked in and I was off to the races! (Typically with the dog hot on my heels--cause they like the running game!) Turns out that when I was a toddler, a big dog knocked me down and growled at me. That was it for me! (Cynophobia=fear of dogs)

The POINT is...phobias often begin in childhood through a traumatic event. And the various ways parents and the children themselves deal with phobias typically makes them worse. (The #1 reason women seek professional counseling is for help in overcoming a phobia.) (Source, CNN article below)

As any GOOD PARENT knows, there is no place for fear in the life of the successful person. No fear. Winners fight, losers take flight. When the child of the good parent experiences fear, to take advantage of the teachable moment (and to avoid public embarrassment--Agoraphobia), the good parent has only one strategy: "FACE THE FEAR, DUDE!"

Over the years, I've seen good parents employ various innovative strategies to help their cowering children "face the fear." Here are two:

A 7-ish looking boy who is obviously terrified of water (Hydrophobia) refusing to get into a vacation hotel pool. Apparently, by NOT swimming, the boy was starting to ruin his good dad's expensive %$#$#% vacation (cause that is what dear dad kept yelling at the kid). The macho dad's next best idea was to carry his now kicking and screaming son to the deep end and throw him in. Oh yes. This was smart.

After dropping like a rock, the boy popped above the water, screaming bloody murder, coughing and gagging on the water he swallowed. The dad continued to yell at him...finally pulling him out of the water by one arm and storming back to his hotel room....boy in tow (obviously dad was overcome by "Kakorrhaphiophobia"- a fear of failure or defeat).

--A 4-year-old girl who is terrified of dogs (cynophobia)--is screaming and trying to scramble away from a large dog. Her mom handles it with verbal encouragement, "Oh don't be a scared little baby...pet the dog...you are making mommy mad!" Mom then grabs her daughter's hand, "PET THE DOG...it's a sweet dog...stop being a scaredy cat!" and forces her to pet the snout of the dog, resulting in the girl kicking, screaming using every ounce of her strength to run away. In short...a Hallmark moment.

Okay, so you tried throwing the kid into the pool, and making the daughter pet the savage beast close to the mouth. Hey, you even tried yelling and shaming...possibly even some "corporal" punishment. Well, goood effort. Maybe next time, try a few of these things...

1) Don't set a timeline on when a kid should overcome a phobia. Some will require a lot of your time and patience. PATIENCE! (This is my weakness, impatience.)

2) Baby steps. Anyone who has seen, "What About Bob?" knows the importance of "baby steps." Don't throw the kid into the pool. Hold them while they dangle their toes in first, etc.

3) Encouragement and Love. Encourage your child. Your anger or ridiculing will do zero good. (Well, they'll do as much good as when people try them on you :)

4) Professional help. Refer to the book Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries, and Phobias or consider counseling.

Don't worry, it is STILL possible for your child to be a winner even if they have a phobia or two to overcome. Your status as a Good Parent CAN remain intact.

Related posts:
Loving example?
Is your child gifted?

Recommended movie: What About Bob?

Here is a great book with solid advice to help your child overcome fears and phobias: Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions to Overcome Your Child's Fears, Worries, and Phobias

Click here for the original article: CNN Article on Phobias!

Gag-Proof Your Parenting Attitude! (Get the Funk Out Your Home!)

Gag reflex warning: Best read by those with a minimal gag reflex. The rest of you, please move to somewhere safe before reading and/or grab a brown paper bag,

Test 1: PUKE! Still okay? You passed.

Test 2: Video

Okay, you are good to go.

The Pool of Vomit That Swallowed the Smithsonian!

Well almost. This is a true story.

I was in the band in high school. (I promise, WE were cool. Okay, okay, maybe we weren't). So anyway, our band went on a trip up to Washington DC for a competition and to march in a parade. We also got in quite a bit of sightseeing at the various monuments.

On one particular day, we were visiting one of the Smithsonian's. I was with a group of 5-6 people. We were bopping past the snack bar, talking and laughing, paying no attention to where we were going (as teenagers are wont to do) when I suddenly looked down to see a HUGE puddle of vomit!!

I was on point, but didn't even have time to tell my groupmates. As I acrobatically sidestepped the puddle I got a little bit on my shoe. Stephanie right behind me wasn't as lucky...she stepped right in--looked down, and IMMEDIATELY threw up...thus making this already impressive vomit puddle even more expansive. The rest of us were sent reeling and gagging away.

No one escaped unscathed. As we sat down and did our best to wipe the vomit from our shoes...another group of band members came strolling by.

"Mary! Susan!" we shouted. Too late.

Next thing we knew, Mary and Susan BOTH went sloshing through the vomit lake--looked down, and IMMEDIATELY threw up!! A bystander who had been laughing at everyone else was overcome and PROJECTILED TOO--which started another vomit pool.

Finally, the Smithsonian cleaning crew showed up, sprinkled the pixie dust on the puke ocean (and pond) and the Smithsonian was saved from the vomit threat. And we, we who endured the horror together became very close, like a family. A family of vomit funk survivors.

Believe it or not, there is a tie in here with parenting--besides the importance of having a strong gag reflex. (Somebody holla' poopy diaper!!!) And I wanted a RIVETING attention-getter to make this point unforgettable.

It's all about attitude ma and/or pa.

The gag reflex is powerful. When vomit funks up a place--the sight and smell of it causes an IMMEDIATE reaction in everyone there.

In the same way, if we typically grumble, complain, act grumpy and rude--and inflict that on others in our home, we totally funk up the environment. People gag on that and start spewing out the same filthy funk right back at us.

Make no mistake, as parents we set the attitude tone in the home. If it's a sweet-smelling attitude in the home, and you're all chill with love, positivity, courtesy and respect, I guarantee you or another "together" adult is behind it.

If it be funky up in the home? An adult is probl'y behind that too. And we all make the choice every day between a "funky" or "sweet-smelling" attitude tone in our home. What's yours...today?

Ready to de-funkify the tone in your home? Click on this link: Home De-Funkifier

In COMMENTS below, let us know what you do to maintain a loving attitude and positivite spirit in your home.

Do you know a family that is a shining light of love and positivity? Nominate them here: Families That Inspire

Check out the he website for parents...with an attitude: Parenting With 'Tude

Talula Does the Hula and More Great Names for Children (Families in the News, #8)

(New Zealand) Some names are so weird they constitute child abuse, according to a court in New Zealand. The family court judge reached that conclusion after hearing evidence in the case of a girl named "Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii." In a nutshell: The clueless parents were so resolute in keeping their daughter's name as it was, that she had to take them to court and become a ward of the state just to get her name changed. Sheesh!

Yes, Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii was her name. It's not just stars like Courteney Cox and Gwyneth Paltrow coming up with wackadoo names for their kids (Coco and Apple respectively). There are also the wonderful names us regular folks come up with, like Tamikalashika Chantalisha Wilson, or Princess Chiquita-Kiwi Smith, or even starry names my high school creative writing teacher gave her girls: Glitter, Sparkle, and Twinkle. (Hey man...it was the late 70's man, and man she was like, far out, hippy-ish, funky and cool--one of my favorite teachers).

So getting back to Talula...and the twins named Benson and Hedges. Fortunately, New Zealand authorities have been able to prevent unsmart parents from using these names: Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucky, Sex Fruit, Fat Boy, Satan, Adolf Hitler and 4Real.

Some "rather unfortunate" names that made it through the system were: O.crnia (after how her mother spelled "Oceania" when texting), Violence, Midnight Chardonnay and Number 16 Bus Shelter.

A few rules of thumb for naming your kids...

1) Don't name your child when under the influence. If history has taught us anything, it is, do not name children when drunk, just after dropping acid, or while tripping on hash--or conversely, when you are off your prescribed meds. This is where names like "Euphoric Fruit Punch," "Moon Doe", "Harmony Vibe" and all variations of "Sky" came from (Skye, Skytripper, etc.)

2) Avoid referencing your current emotion or state of mind. We know having a baby makes you feel "Happy", or "Sleepy" or even "Hiptastic", but don't be "Dopey" or your kid will end up "Grumpy." "Joy" is okay--though not for a boy--Joy-Boy bad. "Hiptastic" is not good for a girl or boy.

3) It's not about YOU! It's not about having a lifelong joke to tell, memorializing a favorite memory (Yeah Detroit couldn't have come from that...:) ) or paying tribute to a hero. One unfortunate girl has 25 middle names, all after prize fighters: "Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown."

Apparently this was done because her grandparents were, "obsessed with boxing and have a bit of a daft sense of humor." Yes, daft captures it.

4) Name the child Jacob or Emily---like EVERYONE else!!! (Top names this year.) But avoid the temptation to name him or her Jacily (Ja-silly). Okay, thanks.

In COMMENTS below, let us know...

• some of the crazy child names amongst your friends and family.
• what you think of parents who do this.
• if a bad or unusual name is a form of child abuse as the New Zealand court ruled.
• great sources for child names...that won't land you in court with your kid some day.

To read the original article, follow this link (from July 2008): http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2008/07/parents-lose-cu.html and http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2007/06/one-baby-girl-n.html?loc=interstitialskip

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Click on this link to find out how to have discussions with your teen (with a dork-free guarantee)! : 101 Movie Clips That Get Families Talking

Here is the current, #1 selling book on baby names (click on the link for info): The Baby Name Wizard: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby

For "Buzz Worthy Baby Names" I recommend: http://www.buzzworthybabynames.blogspot.com/